Uncertainty

I have absolutely 100% no idea how I got this far. 
Maybe just through determination and perseverance. 
Apparently everyone else doesn't know how I got this far, too. And apparently that's not enough anymore. 
And whatever it is I need to continue, I'm starting to doubt that I have it. 
Welp. In this world Resets aren't a thing, sadly, so going back is not an option. 
And like an idiot, I'm way to stubborn to try to find a different option or path. Of course. 
Maybe not giving up is its own kind of curse in the right circumstances. Maybe at some point I forgot how to make a backup plan, or maybe I just never bothered to learn. The latter's probably more likely. 
Right now? It's kind of like I'm on a boat, that someone else is driving. Yeah, I'd love to be the one deciding everywhere about where I'm going, and getting there myself. But it's nice knowing that I don't have to worry about the really bad obstacles, or the uncertainty. But sooner or later, the boat stops, and I have to get out and pick a destination and get to it on my own. 
I do have a destination in mind. Several that I'd be happy to accept. But they all require going along the same general route. And I'm not sure if I can swim that route or if I'll have to settle for another route and another destination. 
Like I said though. I'm an idiot who has her heart set on that route and those destinations. Because, of course, I am convinced that it is going to work out somehow before it's too late. And only now have I started wondering 'Hey hey hey maybe I'm not as good as I thought!'